DTS: Week 1

Let me just right here right now that as much as a tried not to, I couldn't help but feel like I already knew what to expect from DTS. I had my expectations but I also came feeling that since Ive grown up in YWAM I highly doubted I would be shaken by anything in the classroom. I actually was sure that my real discipleship would begin on the outreach and that the whole lecture phase would be a white noise of things Ive heard all my life. Arrogant as I was, I really couldn't be more wrong about what the teachings did to me. I was right about learning things I have heard all my life, but the longer I'm here the more Im realizing a large aspect of why Im here on the first place.  Bridging the things I know in my head and cementing them in my heart.
 The first week of teaching was entitled, " Hearing God's Voice& The Cross", which might I say, is a really mellow sounding topic name that fooled me into thinking it would actually not be as intense as it ended up being. It was incredible, slightly overwhelming, but incredible all the same. Our speaker was a long time missionary South African woman who spoke about the most foundational parts of Chrisitianity and the cross that really shook me to my core.  Its really hard to write it al down here in detail about what I learned exactly because in all honesty its been a week and Im still processing it all. One thing that hit me hard was how for anyone whose ever accepted Christ has Him within their them already and that my life is a continuous cycle of realizing more and more what He can do through me. We've all heard these thing a thousand times but how often we really take time to think, "Jesus, who conquered death and many miracles, spirit lives inside me and enable me". I challenge you guys the way Im challenging myself each day now, to think about this every time someone asks for prayer especially. His spirit lives within and works through us. Amazing.
I've gained a stronger understanding of the Cross and what happened on it as well. Thinking about nails being pounded into your wrists and feet. Thinking of my sins and temptations, the most obvious ones and even the seemingly innocent ones that in reality are all equal in Gods eyes, that I commit daily. And how Jesus became those sins incarnated to be crucified so they wouldn't keep me away from my Father in Heaven again. Going back to remembering the image of agonizing painful wounds inflicted for me. For my sake. All to tell me that I am not condemned now that I am in Christ, by those things. That now i can come to my God and speak to Him and hear His voice. How can I struggle with forgiveness when I have received such a gift? I know I still do, but all this has really blown my mind.
All these little truths can become so silent in our hearts when we don't take time to just soak them in. It was an intense week for sure. It brought out a lot of things I didn't want to see again, and am still walking through, but just to get a little closer to my faith, my God. Its SO worth it.